Food- Collective

3 Cookson Street, Camberwell

This will be brief, and quite fitting for the boys at The Collective.

A simple and laid back approach to the often hectic portrayal of starting a cafe', these guys have taken baby steps to create an impressive addition to the streets of Camberwell.

Since their humble beginnings at the ever amazing, cafe veteran and in my mind 'Yoda' that is Las Chicas, the boys have created a space that is very inviting and fun to hang out it in. There's not much to distract you, which means your time is dedicated solely to your coffee companion, be it person, newspaper or the like.

The menu at Collective is very simple, but with some pretty sweet offerings like bircher and 'pee-days' as the boys like to call them. There are also muffins and pastries for you to pick apart during your weekend rants with friends.

The guys are rocking a Syneso machine, adding cred to their already warm and likeable personalities. I'd heard that they were pretty serious about their coffee, so went straight for a 'magic'; the alleged speciality of our barista.

Forget HP, I've found a new awkward magician to fuss over.

I don't get out to this area often, out of sheer laziness and for the fear of what specimens I might run into whilst stumbling around the streets. Camberwellians are in a class of their own, but I have to admit, I have several friends who grew up here, to whom I can't live without, and seem to have escaped the contagious and infamous personality of others in the area.

Rest assured, when I do make it out, I'll be heading straight to the Collective.

Date rate: For dudes- if you're happy for your girl to be chatting up the boys behind the counter, why not?
Coffee cure: Magic happens.
Hangover Happy: It's not the first place I'd head to relive my hung over soul.
Price: No complaints from me

Oh and unfortunately, loss of phone due to loss of rational thinking in past drunken times, has resulted in loss of collective photo. Hence this pic has been *stolen* from a fellow caffeine addicts.

Food- Milkwood

120 Nicholson St.
 Brunswick East. 3057

Another day that Brunswick calls- how I wish the time between visits was so much smaller.

Milkwood has been the topic of conversation between my friends for a few months now, not just for its wicked name but also for the alleged culinary delights on offer. I had been eagerly anticipating the day my loved up housemate would invite me on a Brunswick adventure. Finally that day arrived.

Driving past numerous cafe's, (Pope Joan the next on the list) I realized that Brunswick really is where it’s at. Maybe one day, if I can ever tear myself away from sunny Elwood, I’ll relocate.

The lovely Milkwood is perched on a seemingly lonely corner, distancing itself from both competitors, and as it would appear; car parks. In our dazed and hungry state, we couldn’t be further away.

One thing you should already know about the café’ society- patience is a virtue. You’re not the only person in Melbourne craving sweets, and certainly not the only hung over soul needing a bit of TLC. But let me tell you another thing, good things come to those who wait. Very good things.

Personally, I believe that the difference between a good café and an amazing one is attention to detail. For instance, as discussed, you always have to wait, but at Milkwood, the waiter reassured us that we would quickly get a table, and took our coffee order anyway. Before we knew it we were seated, followed by the arrival of my strong flat white. (time-ing). Coffee supreme- always a win in my mind.

So what’s the go with the quaint and country-style space that is Milkwood?

I loved the awkwardly cute retro potholders that reminded me of my childhood days at nana's place. You know the kind- white crochet enveloping the pot, dangling from the ceiling? I still find it rather amusing that everything uncool is returning with such vengeance, before we know it doilies and quilts will be back in. Oh wait, that’s awkward.

Everything here is laid out clean and simple, the walls are adorned with minimal pieces including a bookshelf laiden with rhubarb, apricot and berry preserves. Forget breakfast, I was two minutes away from grabbing a spoon and chowing down.

Other points go to the cool lighting and retro ceiling fan.There is also a small and cute cabinet display of strawberry shortcake-sweet looking muffins, banana bread and brownies. In a few words- this place is effortlessly rad.

Down to the important things- food: Ricotta pancakes with banana, coconut, vanilla bean syrup and yoghurt.These were 'tell the world' amazing. Deliciously good in so many ways- the pancake itself had a slight crunch, there was no doughy texture, just awesome goodness. I was uber impressed.

The ritual of finishing off my friends plate gave privy to warm cannellini beans, lemon and rosemary mash and sliced avocado on toast. Wow- where do I begin. I can only try...

Remember Willy Wonka when Violet indulges in gum that tastes like a roast? Well, I got to feel like Violet for the day. This was the best roast I had ever had, spread on toast.

Date rate: Farmhouse frolic -a win.

Hangover Happy: mmm mmm beans.

Coffee cure: I’d give this a 8/10

Price: Only had to borrow a 20 from the bank of Mikey

Poor, poor me.

What happens when I have no funds?

People have to start taking me out for breakfast.

That's what happens.

Wink wink. nudge nudge.

Food- Harpers Kitchen

78 Inkerman Street St Kilda

I never thought I’d say this, but I think I’m less than impressed.

Recently, amongst friends, I’ve debated that there is a reason why we are always reading ‘amazing reviews’- being that we don’t want to hear anything bad.

Perhaps we don’t want to be accused of slander, or maybe we know the effects of a negative attitude on those around us… but could we possibly be scared of being honest?

Melbourne is a city that prides itself on its café culture, its city life and its musical offerings. So it makes sense that we might be slightly over protective and want to talk things up a bit.

My question is-are we so enamoured with our city and the culture that it has become famous for that if we actually produced something that wasn’t up to standard, well, we’d be slightly ashamed?

I had drove past Harper’s Kitchen on numerous occasions before I decided to venture inside. Let me tell you, this place is tiny-you’d drive straight past it on Inkerman Street if you didn’t have an eye for all things cute and quirky.

On a rainy day, this place yells inviting. There are bikes hanging on the exterior, promoting their cyclist friendly environment, and cute green awnings proclaiming the café’s name. Inside, some very attentive and friendly staff will greet you. Brownie points.

This place is little, very little, but they’ve done well with the space. You can probably fit about 20 odd people inside, with a long communal table surrounded by twos and threes- cosy but cute. There are also quirky additions like caged light fittings and wooden branch decorations hanging from the ceiling- an interesting spin on the industrialised vibe.

Whilst aesthetically pleasing, Harpers Kitchen is one that talks the talk, but unfortunately for me, didn’t walk the walk. It has all the makings for an amazing café, but seems to have drawn the short straw.

Don’t’ get me wrong; I’m not saying I could cook up something better-I struggle with reheating a pizza, but if these guys wanted to score some coverage across publications such as Broadsheet and Epicure, they really had to (and pardon the pun)’step up to the plate.’

Coffee supreme seated well amongst this quirky café. I was tempted by a few things on the menu but ended up deciding on poached eggs with a spiced avocado and ricotta stack on toasted pide’, with lemon, pink salt & sumac. This sounded amazing- my tastebuds were about as wet as Melbourne’s recent weekend downpour.

Unfortunately, what came out was something that I feel I could have made myself, and really, if you’re waking up early and making a trek, which in my case I wasn’t… (But if you were), you might be slightly disappointed.

In my books, Turkish bread is pretty much a no go. “You got to get the good stuff.” You know, Noisette or something of equal ‘fanciness’. Also, don’t put a slab of cold ricotta on my plate; I’m sorry, but that does not equal a stack.

I’d like to think of myself as open minded, but I couldn’t’ help but feel a little left behind by Harper’s kitchen. I’ll go back to see how they’re going- this girl is doing some great things for a first venture, and I’m sure that a lot has changed/been improved on since I was last there. Just get a good chef in and you’ll be winning.

Date rate: I like the venue for a date- it’s cute, cosy and random.

Coffee cure: Supreme served well

Hangover happy: Not enough fullness and goodness to please the weary soul

Price: Very good

One thing to note-

Quite often, and especially in this technologically driven world, we take the written word too seriously, and forget that everyone is entitled to generate, speak and consume their own opinion. Don’t take this is as the bible, but rather, a flippant attempt at preaching.

This post, and all my other ramblings, is my own opinion and no one else’s. Do what you will with it.

Passion

Amazing.

Coin Laundry Café

61 Armadale St
Armadale.

This review holds a special place in my heart, which beats ever so stronger thanks to the constant injection of caffeine on a daily basis.

Coin Laundry is now in its third week of business, and it seems only fitting that my post be late. I have barely had the time to think let alone write- my busy lifestyle matched only by the boys at this ultra cute corner café.

Steve Rowley and Matt Vero have dove head first into the sudsy waters of their second café venture, Coin Laundry, to receive an amazing response. Trust me, you’ll find yourself so in love that you’ll be dishing out more than a dollar or two here.

Maintaining the original name from the previous shop tenant, the boys have created a space which compliments the heritage listed exterior, moving away from the industrialised interior of most café’s. This spot has a country chic feel, a welcoming atmosphere and a bustling vibe. With exposed brick walls, a white and green coffee bar splashback and hand sanded wooden tables, Coin Laundry has a clean and contemporary feel. Origami flowers decorate the walls that join to high ceilings- the space has great acoustics and fabulous natural light, meaning no matter what time of day you’re in, it’s always bright inside.

Be prepared to wait for both a table and food, it appears that the Armadale mothers club has spread word about Coin Laundry already, with not only weekends, but early morning weekdays seeing queues out the door. Let’s note that this place is dog friendly, child friendly, and cyclist friendly- all round nice guys.

Head chef Eddie is dishing out food that is worth the wait, with an impressive menu to choose from. Go the Coin laundry breaki- Poached eggs on Noisette bread, with avocado, beetroot, crispy bacon, and roasted tomatoes. If you are only a little peckish, try the ricotta corn fritters, or poached fruit with Labneh and burnt honey caramel. This is a particular favourite, sweet, light and full of goodness.

Steve has chosen well with his coffee blend, New Zealand Allpress, roasted in Sydney. He along with baristas Jimmy and Dave can be found glued to the other side of the coffee bar, meticulously pouring out delicious and creamy coffees, one after the other.

I’m particular fond of this spot, not just because I can call the owners my friends, but also because I have had the pleasure of being on the other side of the breakfast table, as a waitress on weekends. I wouldn’t work just anywhere, just as wouldn’t tell you to eat just anywhere.

Apart from myself, the staff at Coin Laundry are all friends of Rowley and Vero, making this cafe one big family. The difference here is that these staff members want to be there, it’s not about the money or filling time, they have a genuine passion for coffee, food and their friends. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what going out for breakfast is all about?

Weekends are about relaxing; hanging out with friends and eating a little bit too much that you have to waddle out the door. There should be no effort, no stress and no chores.

In saying that, this might be the only time you’ll want anything to do with the laundry.

Date Rate: Super cute backdrop for a young love affair
Coffee cure: Steve has got it down to a T.
Hangover happy: Coin Laundry breaki is a win. If that fails, the boys have just got their liquor licence approved for lunch... Back it up :)
Price: Nothing the Armadaleons haven't seen before.

you should know

Coffee from Batch.

320 Carlisle Street, Balaclava

Nom.

A litte advice...

Over the course of my incessant ramblings about shop fronts, single origins and 'the ultimate big breakfast' I have had many people tell me that I am indeed mad. Surely my life is not dominated by eggs and bacon? How sad.

To be honest, I've given hobbies a go, and this is the only thing that seems to have stuck. I am yet to find a suitable replacement for my caffeine addiction, or breakfast for that matter.

Many fights have been fought with friends and strangers over the importance of breakfast in the food hierarchy, and the only thing that can be agreed upon is that I will fight to the death to prove my point.

Who knows, I doubt I'll ever find a suitable replacement for my love of cafes, but what I have found is a great companion for breakfast, and that's my Mac.

I used to loathe going to cafes on my own, I felt that not only was it "totes un-cool" and something that only my mum would do, but a very lonely act.

How things have changed. Now days I revel in my own company, followed closely by my beloved piece of technology. It's the perfect date, and it turns out that there are a lot of cafes that provide a suitable backdrop for our love affair.

This post goes out to Mr Ben Thompson, who seeks to find his own office in a cafe or two. I must admit it's a hard task to find a place that will let you hang out for several hours in a corner, hunched over your laptop, but if you search hard enough, be nice enough, and order several dozen lattes, you'll find one or two.

So here's my top pick, for the coffee, the food, the ambiance and most importantly, some chilled out service.

Monk Bohdi Dharma- Rear 202 Carlisle St, Balaclava VIC 3183. Go the Avo & Feta Mash
Lawson's Grove-1 Lawson Grove, South Yarra
Dr, Jekyll-107 Grey Street St. Kilda 3182. Sit in the courtyard, and say hi to Roy for me :)
Mart-107a Canterbury Road,(Tram stop) Middle Park. When the sun is shining, grab a booth outside. The Granola is a favourite.
St. Ali- 12-18 Yarra Place South Melbourne VIC 3205. Lamb pizza, that's all I'll say.
Dead man espresso-35 Market St South Melbourne 3205. Fruit salad- a must have.
Coin Laundry,61 Armadale St. Armadale. Banana Bread with espresso butter- nom nom.
Inkr 7- 7 inkerman Street, St Kilda, VIC, 3182. Again, courtyard- very good. Eggs pancetta is a whole new world.
Miss Jacksons-2/19 Grey Street, St Kilda 3182 (enter from Jackson Street).
New York Tomato- Lot 24, 2-6 New St, Richmond, VIC, 3121
Crue-194 Toorak Road, South Yarra, 3141
Outpost-9 Yarra St, South Yarra, 3141. The bircher is amazing.
Picnic-60 Toorak Rd, South Yarra 3141

Have fun working :)

Q eleven

303 Coventry Street, South Melbourne, Victoria, 3205

This heading keeps making me think of Q bar... just awful, and just the opposite to this review.

My friend has recently declared herself gluten free/fructose free/lactose free and god knows what free.

It's a startling theory for me, one I almost can't comprehend. If this was me.... my life might just be over.

She seems to think there are not that many places that will suit her new diet, and to be honest, it's true.

So by the time I heard about Q eleven, I was already in the car, driving to South Melbourne.

You can't miss Q eleven on Coventry St, it's right opposite the markets, and whilst it's small in size, the fluro green exterior is a dead give away, and a preview to the excitement within.

We had a friendly greeting and despite our attempts to brave the winter chill, we were quickly ushered inside to a much warmer and inviting table. There is a very cosy vibe to this place, and even though it's so little (we were positioned between two tables and quite close to the kitchen and register) I still felt as though i could get down to the nitty gritty of essential catch up with my morning girl date.

After a very relaxing Saturday morning yoga class, I was ready to undo all my hard work with some serious breakfast goodness. This led me to the choice of Balsamic mushrooms, avocado mash, Yarra Valley feta, dukkah, toasted sourdough GFR* and a poached egg accompanied by a strong latte from Genovese coffee. (One should note they are also serving a single origin from Kenya.)

My gym buddy for the day, Miss Bree decided to indulge in a Ham & roesti stack, Kassler ham, quinoa and potato roesti, spinach, poached egg and onion jam GFR*.

Yep, we were just as excited when our food arrived as were reading the menu, and I haven't even mentioned some of the sweet things on offer:

-French toast, mandarin curd, toasted almonds, raspberry creme fraiche GFR*
-Creamed sago pudding, lime, coconut, berries, organic Barambah Greek yoghurt GFR*

* This annoying little star is letting you know that gluten free is available on request. (kudos from my friend- I can finally take her out in public)

I couldn't say anything bad about my meal if I tried. First and foremost, the presentation was amazing, almost too good to the point where I didn't want to disrupt the architectural design positioned on my plate. Taste was also flawless. I have decided that there is nothing like some dukkah in the morning to enlighten the soul, for the first time in a while, I didn't even add salt or pepper to my meal. Shock horror.

I will definitely return to Q eleven, I now feel it is my duty to make my way through the menu. Thanks to Kristin, another gluten free individual for sending me this way.

If you like this place, you will also like Las Chicas & Kanteen

Date Rate: Breakfast followed by a market adventure? Win.
Coffee cure: a good cup, but it didn't send my senses soaring.
Hangover happy: Their tortilla would accommodate.
Price: Fairly pricey for an adequate serve.

Apologies for disappearance

This is merely a quick hello that I still exist, and I have still been out enjoying a latte or two.

New job has taken over le life, and hence The F word has been on an extended holiday, i hope to your dismay.

Today however, I'm back with vengeance, and before you know it there will be some exciting things happening here. So watch this space.

In the mean time, I clearly have some work to do, and you have some cafes to attend.

One thing I have already learnt since starting my new job is that I may not be as wise as I thought when it comes to bragging about breakfast. There are plenty of places I am yet to see.

I have been gobsmacked at the amount of cafes my co-workers have been listing, and I'm ashamed to say i had no idea of their existence.

Not anymore.

Let's try to keep these updates regular, for all our sakes. We wouldn't want to get hungry now would we.

I like this.

Food- Outsider Tart (London calling)

Outsider Tart

83 Chiswick High road

London

A Melbourne girl, in an American café... in London. Hmmm.

It’s funny how you jet abroad in search of some traditional English tea and scones and the first café that I end up in may as well place me in NYC. Nether less, in the search of good coffee…. and boy was I craving one; I was led to Outsider Tart.

Word on the street is that a good coffee in London is hard to find. (Melbourne, this is why I love you so very much.)

Surely though, with a little wandering I would stumble upon something hidden and treasured… There has to be someone in this city as obsessed with caffeine as myself.

Outsider Tart is uber trendy- walking down the street I could immediately identify it as part of the café society; wicked name, cool shop fit, kooky workers.

David Lesniak and David Muniz, both business and life partners, made the move to London as ‘outsiders’ with the aim to create amazing cupcakes, pies and treats for the London individual. For these guys, the only thing more camp than their personalities is the décor and food offerings.

The ceiling is lined with hundreds of silver cake tins- illuminated by huge red steel arrow shaped light installations. There are 4-foot gingerbread-esque men made from bottle caps proudly standing in the shop corner. The main counter, a laminex, retro striped rectangle- is smack bang in the centre of this tiny shop displaying cake after cupcake after pie after tart after pastry. Nom nom.

This place is a little food store too, offering every delicacy you could imagine from marshmallow spread to Skippy peanut butter, to chilli sauce and ranch dressing. Pretty much everything you thought only your Barbie dolls had in their toy supermarkets.

Food here is outrageous, from muffins to cookies, to slices and sausage rolls. Everything is decorated to the max; sugar overload- this is not the place to go if you are on a diet. Run away.

If you are not on a diet- get excited. Make sue you share the cake though; it’s a feat in itself. I had an orange blossom cheesecake with a dark chocolate cookie base. The cake was soft and delicate and with the subtle hints of orange it was like sweet clouds floating around in my mouth all day long.

All the finer details were much appreciated- everything is served in cute little paper cups and brown paper boxes.

Caffeine fix- I ordered a flat white which turned out more like a latte, They had definitely over heated the milk and the taste was so American they may has well have poured it straight from a percolator. Oh well. Props for trying- it was still better than Starbucks.

This place is about the interior, the food, the people and the vibe. My favourite London word- ‘wicked’.

So good coffee in London? It’s still hard to find, but ill keep you updated.

Date rate: Yes yes. Plenty of weird items to banter about.

Coffee cure: I wake up. I need coffee. It will do.

Hangover Happy: You could trade your drunken sick feeling for a ‘too many sweets’ sick feeling.

Price: if you pretend the pound is the same as the AUD- amazing.

Food- Fandangos

Fandangos-

97 Errol Street. North Melbourne.

Again drawn to the north.

Fandangos is deceiving, in size and in appearance, but not in quality.

This place is ‘cool’ and anyone who knows me would expect a certain profanity within that sentence. I’m choosing to refrain and keeping this simple.

Recommended by a very trendy friend I made my way to this tiny little shop as soon as I could, located two doors down from the equally pleasing Auction Rooms.

At first I was sceptical. Auction Rooms two doors down? How tempting to go back to something I knew was right, something safe.

Safe is risky my friends. You’re going to hear this a lot from me.

This shop could go unnoticed if you didn’t know what you were looking for. Best sign- the green, white and orange streamers flowing down from the front door like a waterfall at its peak, constantly moving with the influx of customers.

Upon entering this café, you might as well be walking into your grandma’s house circa 1959. Heavy floral curtains draping across the front window compliment the rustic terracotta and deep brown tiles of the exterior. The chairs outside are possibly the only clue that this is a place of business- the business that is eating.

Gran’s house continues within, with 60’s style tables and chairs, bookshelves containing random ornaments and lots of cute Tupperware. I’m using the literal definition of cute here. (Ugly but interesting.)

My first thoughts upon entering this place- Seriously, only four tables? How are these guys making any money? But no, my eyes are deceived as I'm quickly greeted by the friendly staff and led through the kitchen, passed the smiling chefs and into a very small, but very quaint brick courtyard.

Again this area only seats a few people, but the staff are very welcoming and promising to squeeze you in, which always makes you feel good. A low brick wall encloses each of the tables that are surrounded by herb pots. It’s your own little oasis.

Organic coffee at Fandangos is super tasty. Creamy with acidic flavours and bitter end notes. Just the way I like it.

What I want to rave about- Food food food. I must come back to make my way through all the menu choices, and in turn, through my bathroom scales.

Poached eggs on toasted pide’ with cooked spinach, topped with a beetroot and fetta mash. You can taste the colour of this dish. Vibrant. Fresh. Bursting with goodness.

Pancakes with honeyed cream cheese, strawberries and banana. Honey. I’m hooked. I did not want to share this with anyone.

French toast with bacon, apple puree and maple syrup. Oh my goodness. Sweet + savoury- its true what they say, opposites attract.

These guys know what they are doing. Serving sizes- ample. Flavours- a plethora to choose from. Service- as attentive as you’re mum when you’re sick!

Date rate: I rate… this date.
Coffee cure: top notch
Hangover happy: sober.drunk.munchies.sick.happy.
Price: Pancakes at ten a pop- no wonder this place draws crowds.

Food- Lawsons Grove

Lawson’s Grove shop.

1 Lawson’s Grove. South Yarra

An oldie but a goodie.

This is without a doubt one of my favourite cafes to visit. Not only because of the service, and aside from the quality and great tasting food, but also because of the feeling you get from the moment you see the Lawson’s Grove street sign.

Winding through Toorak’s side streets, passing amazing house after extravagant house past monstrosity of a house, you stumble upon the hidden treasure that is Lawson’s Grove.

Its funny how within a few minutes you are transported from the chaotic and bustling streets of Melbourne to what appears as a European side street- complete with overhanging willow trees, narrow roads speckled with vintage cars and high rise apartments- the good (French) kind.

Almost an underground oasis, you feel as though you have stepped into another realm. There is a quiet and humbling ambience to this little shop. Looking around, it’s the finer details of Lawson’s Grove that tug at my traditionalist’s heart. Unlike the modern, industrialised revolution of most new cafes, you will see milk crates as chairs with hessian cushions, gingerbread men for sale, and children’s toys and books lying around.

Within this building you are greeted by friendly staff and an open kitchen where the chefs prepare not only your breakfast and lunch but also takeaway meals and deli choices, for those busy Toorak mums whose day got just a bit too hectic to prepare dinner.

Scrambled eggs here are ‘divine’ I say this because it’s like the yellow brick road turned to silk and made its path down my throat and into my most appreciative belly.

Baked eggs with meatballs- I quote from the harshest critic of all, “this should make you feel like your getting the biggest cuddle from your mum, on a cold winters day, with a blanket wrapped around you, sitting by the fire. Well, a little less descriptive: ‘amazing’.

Cinnamon infused porridge with raspberries and brown sugar is going to give Uncle Toby’s a run for their money. I don’t care how bad grains are for you- this is sweet, comforting goodness in a bowl.

Lawson’s Grove is one of those cafes that you almost don’t want to tell people about. You love that you can go there and still manage to get a seat because its still only locals who know about it, plus a few eager beavers, or those who I hope read this blog.

It seems like everyone at Lawson’s Grove comes for the same reason, great food, great coffee, and a little time away from their existing life. You leave your troubles at the door, and embrace the quiet life.

On my list of things to do is an epic day at Lawson’s grove, consisting of eating, reading, and enjoying the company of my one and only, le Mac.


Date rate: A date with yourself, a computer or a date with another, you could spend your whole day at Lawson’s Grove.
Coffee Cure: After tasting several cups, it's safe to say they know what they are doing.
Hangover Happy: the posh hangover cure
Price: they may have hidden the location, but certainly not the bill.

Food- Sardine

Sardine

15 Morey Street. Armadale

Spoonfuls newest offering may not sound as sweet, but Sardine is definitely going down a treat.

Same owners, similar theme. Sardine is squished into a tiny space, much like the fish in their tin can, yet true to the old saying; good things do come in small packages.

This café will only seat about 6 customers inside and another 8 outside, but in its hidden location just outside of the Armadale station steps, they shouldn’t expect too much chaotic traffic.

This place is all about colour. Hanging on the stark white walls is a ‘bead curtain’ made entirely of different coloured plastic bottle caps and container lids. The front door is a beautiful melon shade that adds to the fresh and playful vibe of this café.

Genovese coffee didn’t send my tastebuds into an orgasmic shock, but it certainly satisfied my caffeine craving, and would do so on any given day in a rush to catch the morning train.

The food however is another story. Don’t let the tiny kitchen, small bench space or minimal fridge display deter you; these guys know what they are doing.

I have tried the chicken baguette- a satisfying choice with all the expected flavours plus some extra excitement with celery and a yummy, creamy mayonnaise.

What really hit the spot- baked ricotta with pistachios, blueberries and figs. The different and unusual ingredients made for an amazing combination that was sweet yet light enough for an afternoon treat.

Ps. Ice chocolates here- very good.

Big points for crockery and glass wear- lattés come in glass cups and sauces, sugar cubes in woven baskets, the crockery is a combination of a tin/porcelain finish, and there are even bins made of hundreds of fake sardines.

Whilst you might miss Morey St, the rest of Sardine stands out- from the street sign; a beautiful blue, to the orange tables within and the red settings outside.

Definitely the only sardine I shall associate myself with.

Date rate: Hidden retreat
Coffee Cure: A quick stop for take away
Hangover Happy: Egg and bacon roll on offer- very good
Price: Just as cute as the shop fit.

Food- Little Ox

Little Ox-

452 New St. Brighton 3186

Since becoming a resident of St. Kilda I have made little time to go back to my hometown of East Brighton. Whether it is because of my undying obsession with my new surrounds or perhaps I was just a bit over the ‘Brighton’ type, there honestly has not been anything luring me back to that side of town.

Until now.

When I first drove past Little Ox I couldn’t help but comment on how cute the shop front looked. It’s taken me quite a while to get here but I finally made it, and can’t help but gush at how impressed I am of Brighton’s latest addition.

Little Ox is in a prime location; the shop stands alone and can’t be missed with its big egg yolk artwork on the grey exterior. Located just outside of Elwood village, yet far enough away from the likes of Bay and Church Street to be considered ‘Brighton’.

Interior wise this place is very clean cut with a cute French/country twist. White walls from floor to ceiling are complimented with spots of colour, even down to the yellow-rimmed glassware. The cutlery is housed in an old school desk, while bookshelves display random kitsch and several cookbooks. There are old English themed posters and canned tomatoes stacked high above the kitchen, as well as cute flowers arrangements adorning each table.

On the two occasions I have been, I indulged in my regular order of all things sweet.

First up was the banana and pistachio bread with cinnamon marscapone. A delightful combination for a cold winters day. Secondly, poached pears with raspberry coulis and brioche. The banana bread is definitely the winner, but by the exclamations from Jess, her order of buttermilk pancakes with strawberries, whipped cream and topped with a crispy meringue appeared to be the best ever eaten- sweet, fluffy goodness.

From where we were sitting we were able to converse with the three male chefs, all happy to persuade us into eating more cake. Evil.

Coffee here deserves a long mention. Mine was so good I actually had to think twice about what I was drinking and what my tastebuds were clearly having a dance about. I wondered if I had mistakenly ordered a mocha, as the chocolate undertones were so apparent. This full-bodied latte with both berry and chocolate notes made me feel as if a black forest cake had come to party in my mouth. Nom nom nom.

A big surprise when I found out the blend was Red Star, a fairly unknown commercial blend roasted in Port Melbourne. These are sustainable beans sourced from areas including South America, Africa and Asia with a fully transparent supply chain.

Chatting with Tommy Collins, we came to the conclusion that even a standard blend can be amazing- if made by the right barista. I went to chat to the young, tattooed cutey and to thank him for my amazing latte and upon banter discovered that this kid really knew what he was talking about. At the young age of 21 he proclaimed he should know something about coffee as he’d been doing it ‘for years’. Turns out since the age of nine his father had a coffee cart and had taught him all he knew. Practice makes perfect.

Conclusion? I’ll be back to Little Ox, not just for the cute staff but also for the incredible coffee. Kudos.

Date rate: Brighton you can finally impress
Coffee cure: I think I have found my take away haven.
Hangover happy: This place attracts the young and the old, so as long as your happy sitting next to grandma when you feel like shit, go for it.
Price: It won’t kill your budget, but bring a few extra pennies.

Food- El Mirage

El Mirage

349 Lygon Street Brunswick East

Almost everyone knows that I am a pancake girl. I love them.

From my childhood days of being the ‘packet mix queen’ and cooking up a batch every Saturday morning before netball, to my now undying obsession with eating cake for breakfast; pancakes have guided me through the many ups and downs of this oh-so-hectic life I live.

It all started with ‘The queen of hearts’ as I used to call it- strawberry jam and ice cream, or good old maple syrup, but this love affair soon grew serious when I ventured into the café world. Las Chicas in Balaclava was definitely the one to pop my ‘gourmet’ pancake cherry. #2: Sweet ricotta, bananas, strawberries and maple syrup, Rachel Zoe would die- In more ways than one.

#3: Orange mascarpone, blueberries and mint. The most unusual, but most rewarding risk I have taken.

So after this big spiel on pancakes, it seems only natural that I would jump at the chance to try ‘the best pancakes ever eaten’ as recommended by a friend.

This led me to El Mirage, located amongst the industrial centre of East Brunswick. As I passed several conspicuous looking venues, all with elderly Italian men grouped outside for their ritual meetings-I wondered, what it is that they talk about, or do they just stare at passers by? I almost walked past this café; tucked further back from most of the adjacent shops.

With a teal green wash on the exterior, this place reminded me of an army base of some sort. Upon venturing inside, I felt the vibe of a modern, industrialised diner.

In a nutshell- this place is uber industrial chic; very minimalist and very sterile- however this might have had something to do with the fact we were the only people seated at the time.

The table layout is very simple, with one wall dedicated to diner like booths with khaki coloured vinyl chairs and the rest of the room filled with separate tables. There is a wooden art frame enclosing the kitchen window, but other than that, the bar area is merely a long steel benchtop against the right hand side of the café, stretching across the length of the room. The ceiling consists of several wooden panels curving into the stark white conjoining walls- very cool.

The general feeling from this cafe is one of seclusion; you feel quite tucked away from the rest of the world. While I say industrial chic, this is one place you can take ‘the boy’ without him hating every second.

While the room slowly filled up with customers I couldn’t help but wonder what the acoustics would be like on a busy day. Not to mention how cold it was inside. Lucky I was about to be warmed up from within.

Coffee supreme was served at is best: perfect temperature, texture and taste. Food wise- it was an easy pick: Pancakes with maple syrup, lemon curd and mascarpone.

These were without a doubt one of, if not the best pancakes I have had.
Golden crisp on the outside (you even heard a slight crunch on the first bite) and light and fluffy within. The lemon curd was rich and tangy, complimented by the creamy mascarpone. Maple syrup made this a threesome one couldn’t refuse.

Today’s partners in crime Miss Breeza and Miss Abi, so kindly obliged to me tasting their breakfasts:

The Slim Jim- poached eggs with ricotta, fig chutney and avocado; I was very impressed with the contrasting sweet and savoury flavours. Bree went for the Mexican beans with melted Parmesan and salsa - spicy spicy but a good addition.

El Mirage has an extremely impressive menu. I just wish I could say the same for the service. Seeing as we were the only people in the cafe at the time I would have expected a lot more of a friendly response, and sometimes it’s a shame to get the cold shoulder in the early hours of the morning.

Kudos for the amazing food guys, you made me forget any prejudice quickly, I hope that next time I can love every aspect just as much.

Date rate: On an empty day… awkward alert- but as long as its busy its worth a trip!
Coffee cure: Satisfaction
Hangover happy: It’s possible
Price: Breaki under $20

Food- Espresso 3121

Espresso 3121

Walnut Street. Richmond

What is it with cafes being hard to find? I’m a big fan of guessing games, but it appears the new trend is placing cafes in the most peculiar of side streets known to mankind.

I did drive past this one. Twice. Arrrgh.

Espresso 3121 stands alone in this oh-so cutely named street amongst the hustle and bustle of Richmond’s business precinct (off Church Street). Upon approach you might see several bicycles parked outside and understand that not only does this café attract the loyal businessmen and women of Melbourne but those on the run including athletes who need their coffee fix.

From the outside this place looks pretty simple; there is an illuminated light box detailing the postcode name extending from the ‘brick box’ that this building is.

Inside is a big modern space with a large white share table that has been stencilled with the postcode and other symbols. Sitting here you can see all that goes on in the kitchen and watch the barista at work. Staff are prompt and friendly.

There is a large blackboard positioned on the sidewall, which proclaims the ‘lore of espresso coffee’. Basically the crew at Espresso 3121 are trying to educate their customers on the obsession that is the ‘café society.’ Fortnightly they post new lectures pertaining to coffee. On this occasion they were teaching/preaching about milk.

Sidenote: I love milk. I love it on its own and I drink it regularly. Hence I love that they love it as much as me.

What did I learn? Milk has naturally occurring sugars which when overheated are burnt out. So don’t order an extra hot coffee. It is useless; an insult to the coffee Gods and you will most definitely anger the barista.

Ps: Don’t order skinny milk and put sugar in your coffee. Hypercritical? Think about it.

Food wise Espresso 3121 does not serve eggs, which will disappoint some but for others is a rare opportunity to branch out and try new things. I went with a more safe option on this day, but the old favourite of avocado on rye with sea salt and cracked pepper has never seemed to disappoint. This was followed by a bit more excitement with an apple and rhubarb crumble muffin. God muffins are good, and this place is no exception.

Sometimes things are hidden for a reason, and Espresso 3121 is worth the hunt.

Date rate: on business hours
Coffee cure: no complaints
Hangover happy- no eggs. Boo.
Price- doesn’t hurt the wallet

Food- Wyton Cellars

Wyton Cellars Café

91 Kepler Street, Warrnambool 3280

Just for laughs.

The little class and reputation that Warrnambool has appears to have cumulated in the space that is The Wyton Cellar.

Searching for any sign of coffee appreciation within this town I was relieved to spot from a distance, the burgundy umbrellas emblazoned with the Genovese brand. This isn’t my favourite blend but it is up there, especially amongst the second wave of the coffee revolution and could possibly be Warrnambool’s ‘hottest’ offering.

As soon as we entered this little café, situated on one of the main streets of Warrnambool, we knew that we had picked a goodie. There was obviously a shared appreciation; as fellow business workers and the minority ‘trendy’ inhabitants of the town were seated with their Long Macs or espressos.

This café consists of one fairly large sized room with a central share table that stands quite high with bar stools, surrounded by smaller tables for two.

There is a large display counter offering freshly baked treats and home-style cooked meals. Polished wooden bookshelves house recipe books and there is a large wine display across the back wall with some impressive bottles on show.

Our hungry bellies pointed ourselves in the direction of an old school sausage roll with relish, along with a roast pumpkin and feta pasta dish. Both were delicious, as was my coffee.

The female staff members at Wyton were very friendly and obviously passionate about their food and service. Wyton is operated as a caterer for functions and events.

I felt very cosy in this cafe, as there was a good vibe that reminded me of one of my Melbourne favourites, The Emerald Hill Café in South Melbourne.

The following day we were more than happy to stroll back to Wyton to trial their breakfast. Shocked by the discovery that this hidden treasure did not have a breakfast menu, we contemplated the search for another, if possible adequate destination- luckily we were pointed in the direction of Wyton’s second café, only a few shops down the road.

Wyton 2 has a similar feel, with blackboards across the room proclaiming the days specials and upcoming tapas nights. The main service counter is set off with the ever so popular hanging light globe fittings which illuminated the most amazing looking savoury muffins I have seen in a while. There was a cute little booth with comfy cushions for us to plant ourselves down and enjoy our last few hours in this beloved town.

I decided to try something different this time, denying my tastebuds their usual egg cravings. I was well rewarded with roasted mushrooms on sourdough, with pesto, goat’s cheese, fresh spinach and roasted tomato.

Of course I digged in to Elisse's Bircher which was very good, with macadamias, dates and very tasty yoghurt.

A weekend in Warrnambool was ample time for me to appreciate everything that Melbourne has to offer including my bed, my teddy, my friends, my family, and my food. All jokes aside, the coast of Warrnambool is beautiful and a great spot to escape to. At least I know if I am ever stuck there again, I have Wyton to retreat to.

Date rate: if you can find a suitable date in Warrnambool, take them here.
Coffee cure: Hot, smooth and yum!
Price: Meals were $10 and ample servings at that.
Hangover happy: Wyton cellars 2 will have something to offer for the weary soul.

Food- Auction Rooms

Auction Rooms

103-107 Errol Street North Melbourne

From the moment you arrive it is clear that Auction Rooms has a story. It still possesses its original street signage and the sky blue paint of the exterior is flaking off at an accelerating rate- but it looks great. Amongst a surrounding plain landscape; Auction Rooms is hard to miss.

Once you have ventured inside you will find a huge open space enclosed by
Exposed brick walls and featuring rustic hanging light globes and PVC light creations that adorn several wooden seating areas.

Auction Rooms has a few quirks- everything here has an old, antique feel and placed within this modern space; makes for a mismatched but artistic flare. On the tables, tiny glass milk bottles display beautiful burnt orange orchids, which stand next to rustic Heinz pea tins that contain sugar.

There is a beautiful courtyard area enclosed by floor to ceiling glass walls within the main room, with olive trees extending up and through a ceiling of suspended milk crates. This is one thing I haven’t seen before.

There is a central coffee and bar counter, in which a weekly single origin is rotated. We opted for their standard house blend. Upon conversation with our barista we were informed that quite often, people make the mistake of ordering a single origin with milk e.g. latte or a cappuccino. However our barista informed us that a single origin is best served as an espresso or long Mac, because it is only one type of bean and the flavour is most appreciated on its own. A house blend however has been especially roasted to be combined with milk.

My latte was smooth, creamy and had a delicate flavour. We all agreed our coffee could have been hotter, but it was still very flavoursome.

The menu at Auction Rooms is interesting and extremely appealing. After much discussion and debate, we finally rested upon:

The counter bid- Two poached eggs on sour dough with an avocado and pesto mash, fresh rocket and roasted tomatoes. It was delicious. The pesto was extremely flavoursome and the serving size was spot on.

However, food envy was soon upon me.

After much persuading on my behalf, my usual partner in crime Bree chose the ricotta hotcakes with maple syrup, poached peaches and sweet vanilla yoghurt. Just one bite and I was wishing I had indulged my sweet and innocent cravings. Next time. Ill be back.

Date rate: I approve
Hangover Happy: I think it can be done
Coffee cure: Increase the temp and I’m sold. (Pardon the pun)
Price: Standard

Food- Yellow Bird

Yellow Bird

122 Chapel St. Windsor

The general gist from this café is that the owners got very confused whilst reading a Melways and accidentally mistook Chapel Street for Brunswick Street. The result? A grunge-chic interior that offers patrons a prolonged dining experience. From beers at breakfast to lager at lunch, followed by dinner and bar service, this place is one of the main attractions for the locals of Prahran & Windsor.

In committing a serious social faux par, I am going to go where no brave person has gone before and describe the crowd of yellow bird as ‘totes alt’. Never should those words be paired and never will they be used together again.

Get your checklist out: flanny. Leather jacket. Tattoos. Piercing. Ray Bans. Unwashed/un-brushed hair. Skinny-legged jeans. Canvas/boat shoes.

Whilst the crowd will entertain your thoughts for some time, the food will please you even more so. Admittedly, the eggs benedict did not look like the greatest I had seen, but my order of poached eggs on sough dough with a roast pumpkin, spinach and fetta mash was amazing. Its times like these I wish I was hung over to enjoy the moment of grease, warmth and fullness.

Hangover happy: This place was meant for a hangover
Date rate: Uber trendy
Coffee cure- Genovese; always pleases
Price: very good!

Food- St. Ali nights

St. Ali Nights

12-18 Yarra Place, South Melbourne 3205

St. Ali has become an institution not only to South Melbourne but also to many cafes scattered throughout this city.

Not only is their converted warehouse interior and day menu reputable, but their beans have become a staple amongst some of Melbourne’s finest cafes. With their own roasting house in store, its no wonder why cafes such as Bouchon, The Mailing room or most importantly my apartment ‘The Attic’; are taking on the incredible roast that is St. Ali.

For the last two months St. Ali nights has been operating, and to be honest I am surprised I wasn’t there sooner.

I was sceptical for some absurd reason, and I am feeling very guilty for that.

“A quick bite to eat, a quick night to check out what’s on offer” this may have been our intentions but what resulted was an epic two hour exploration into something quite magical.

There is almost too much to mention; where do I start.

Firstly our waitress Tania was amazing. It is not often that such a highly renowned cafe would appreciate each and every customer and make him or her feel like they were the only people sitting in the room- but Tania took us through each dish, explained which wine would match certain meals and answered any questions we had. Her knowledge was impeccable.

In terms of wine we decided to try something new and go with a Rose’. 'Scorpo' from the Mornington Peninsula, was one of the smoothest and enjoyable glasses I have had in a long time. It complimented our entree perfectly.

Tempura Asian mushrooms with soy dipping sauce and wasabi mayonnaise- soft, Delicate, and rich in flavour.

For main: Twice cooked duck with orange, cucumber and black fungus, Szechuan and coriander salt- this meat melted in my mouth, the orange was a subtle hint, and whatever Szechuan is... I liked it.

The thing that was most interesting about this experience was what makes St. Ali nights stand out. "The concept here is to match food with coffees from the freshest single growing region in the world." This is where siphoned coffee comes into play.

Tania invited us to come and see how siphoning works; I will try and explain it in a nutshell.

This contraption almost looks like an elaborate Bunsen burner/laboratory experiment, where two glass mixing pots are positioned above each other. The lower pot containing water is heated until boiling point, where increasing pressure forces the water into the upper pot. Then the coffee ground is added and the brewing process begins. This is left for 3-4 minutes, before the heat is turned down and the coffee pours into the lower pot through a thick cotton cloth, which filters the coffee to make the purest most delicate siphon. All residues are removed.

The result is what looks like a herbal tea; light in colour and rich in aroma. Tania informed us to take staggered sips of our siphon, as each minute that goes past; the coffee will increase in flavour.

It was an extremely odd experience to be drinking coffee with my main meal but an amazing one at that. The coffee grew in flavour as it cooled, and complimented the duck in a most surprising way.

Dessert was an easy choice; apple wantons with goats cheese ice cream- I think someone may have told head chef Ben Cooper of my love for cheese because this was a disturbingly good treat.

The south east Asian inspired menu is a winner sampling two legs, sea legs and four legs-very unique. There is not a huge menu, but each meal has obviously been well thought out. The flavours of each dish will stay with you for longer than expected.

St. Ali nights encourages food sharing. Which is a good idea when you look at prices. Between the three of us we left completely content after sharing an entree, main and dessert. Servings are ample.

I will be back at St. Ali within a week. An amazing venue that really deserves so much credit.

Date Rate: Uber impressive.
Coffee Cure: The connoisseur’s experience.
Hangover Happy: n/a
Price: a well worth night out

Source: St. Ali website

Food- Spoonful

Spoonful

543 High Street Prahran

This is one for the ladies.

Wicker chairs, colourful pillows, hand painted sugar bowls and beautiful floral arrangements on each table.

This certainly isn’t your footy clubs best meeting spot, but it is perfect for the girls to get together and talk for hours on whatever it is that we find so interesting.

The breakfast menu consists of lovely bircher muesli that should win hearts as well as some very interesting egg creations.

The coffee here is satisfying, and there are plenty of sweets to keep the sugar levels going.

Sweet treats + a cute and cosy interior = the perfect location for mother/daughter brunches, best friend outings and break-up conferences/debriefs.

Mary Poppins said it first. A spoonful of sugar sure does help the medicine go down.

Date rate: If the boy is down with ‘cute’
Hangover happy: I would go elsewhere
Coffee cure: Best crockery in town
Price: Up there with Toorak expectations

Flaws

Since moving out of home I have considered myself very lucky with the company I keep. So just when I began to think that the transition stage from one group of housemates to another was over... I find out the worst news possible.

My new 'roomies' are everything I could want them to be, minus one (incredibly significant) flaw-They don’t like tea.

Sad face. Breeza I miss you.

Night after night, I hope and pray they will accept my invitation to a midnight tea party. Alas, constant rejection.

I must admit, I am slightly confused... who doesn’t like tea? Are they aliens? What do they drink?

It is hot and it’s delicious- it is like a giant hug from your favourite teddy bear. It is the penultimate experience before the land of nod.

I will endeavour to change my housemates ways... but in the meantime, looks like I have to invite nanna dearest over again.